Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Profile of America's Average Churchgoer - CINO: Christian In Name Only.



Profile of America's Average Churchgoer - CINO: Christian In Name Only. Place of Residence: Laodicea.
Favorite Beverage: Lukewarm pro-abortion Starbucks Coffee.
Favorite Flower: pro-abortion Ecke Poinsettias, especially when they are decorating around our church sanctuary with the big screen television during the NFL playoffs.
Dream Vacation: Taking my kids to Disneyland during Gay Days at Disney.
Favorite Movie: Any pro-gay Disney movie featuring theme music by athiest homosexual Elton John.
Favorite Pastor: pro-Mormon Cult Joel Osteen.
Most important lesson I have taught my children: If you wish upon a star long enough, you can grow up to be just like Miley Cyrus.
Political Affiliation: Family Values Republican.
Goal: Destroy America and Replace it with a Babylonian Kingdom.
Occupation: Fundraising for GOP Pro-Life Charities while supporting pro-abortion businesses. Why? "Because I can, that's why!"
Favorite Hobby: Volunteering for GOP Marriage Amendment Campaigns while supporting pro-homosexual politicians and pro-gay businesses. Why? "Because I can, that's why!"
Most Memorable Ministry Experience: Handing out water bottles to thirsty nude dancers who were marching in the local Gay Pride Parade.
Favorite Biblical scripture: "What Would Jesus Do?"

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